WEEKLY REPORTS--M. Howe. Written during the two and one half months' experience: June 27 to Ju!y 2. Third Week

Monday and Tuesday of this week we start in the first out-and-out cleaning of the new flooded room. The inside was drained and scrubbed down. Peter was put outside . . . we were going to get him into the sling but it was not necessary. He was gently pushed and went through the door. He spent a happy day outside . . . moving freely all around the center wall. (See photograph.) We worked inside and repainted the bottom with Thoroseal. Tuesday we cleaned outside. Peter had to be brought inside in the sling and he was reluctant. When he was in the sling I saw that his belly had some red marks, probably from the rough floor inside. They did not look open or even very sore, just pink. We were able to clean outside fairly well although the drainage is not complete and it is hard to get all the mucky water out. Most of the algae growth was at least scrubbed off, if not flushed out.

Draped shower curtains around my bed . . . dried all the parts of the bed . . . looked forward to dry sleeping. Found during the week that it works very well . . . Peter will get my attention by throwing ball up against the curtain . . . "whap, whap" . . . but he cannot get me drenched any more.

Several of the lessons this week were very poor. Peter has picked up this monotonous tone, a whine . . . and it goes on and on . . . he seldom stops to listen to me. I will do anything to break this, and several times I lost my temper and really yelled at Peter. Other times he listens very well . . . and at least seems to be trying to do the right things.

I still feel very strongly that I can do what I am trying to do . . . but I have not succeeded in doing it yet. I must teach Peter that he is to learn. Just that . . . and then we will have something. I can go through five lessons with him and be so fed up . . . and then I will give a counting lesson, say, and suddenly Peter is listening . . . rolling over and looking at the balls as I point to them, looking back up at me . . . trying sounds, listening when I repeat. It may be that Peter is not sure exactly what he is supposed to be doing. I must try to make it quite clear.

I find in going over the tapes of the week that they are very helpful . . . I get a condensed version of what has gone on. It all comes back. I am picking out some things that I find interesting . . . a good beginning of a word, a good copy of inflection, pitch, etc., but I have not started rerecording any parts of it yet. I am so lousy at the mechanics involved that it will take forever . . . and I don't think I have enough good material yet to make it worth the time spent. (When I asked Miss Howe what she meant by "good material," she added "good pronunciation.")

Peter has still not gone outside on his own. He inches his way . . . I have decided it is just too shallow. This weekend I will raise the level and see if he will come out.

Toward the end of the week on Friday afternoon, I had the first really bad spell of restlessness. I just could not stay at the lab another moment. I got into the car and drove around a bit . . . and felt better. (Margaret has enlarged on this state of mind in a longer note, which will be inserted later in the summary of problems encountered.) I am physically so pooped I can hardly stand . . . my legs from the knees down are numb. Note that I got my period on Wednesday . . . that may affect me. I sleep in my own bed Friday night . . . and feel better on Saturday. All of this fatigue was also combined with a depression . . . wanting to get away and see some people. I think I reached a point where my mind is not all on the job and I do not function well at all. At any rate . . . I went out and around on Sunday . . . and felt much better facing Monday.

To sum up . . . it has been a sort of neuter week. Not much visible progress, but no backslip. This is fine with me. The fact is still there that Peter and I have spent another week together . . . have yelled at each other . . . have had long, loving sessions, have scolded . . . had lessons . . . etc., and that we are a week closer in awareness of each other than we ever were before. And for the moment that is all I expect. It has taken this long to really iron out the physical problems in the system, and with the exception of food, I think we have now done that. The cleaning people will be here on Tuesday to see about cleaning. About time!

The concrete was poured into the sea pool this week . . . that was a large distraction. Noise most of the day . . . I had to get out several times to see the work. Pumps would not work, the crew was there to pour, the pool was still full of water . . . I had a lot of outside problems on my mind. Saturday morning the crew was due here at seven-thirty to finish pouring concrete. I got up at 5:00 A.M. and put on the pumps to have the pool empty for them, and the power was off.

Most of these are small problems, but somehow this week they added and loomed very big for me. Pam stopped eating for several days. I was worried about her. She is fine now . . . back on her norm.

Peter continues to be very interested in games. He loves to go and fetch things. I must find a way to make this more worthwhile. The more of this kind of lining the better. I look for any kind of action or performance that has an order to it and some control on Peter's part. This "go and fetch" is ideal. Once again, I am eagerly looking forward to next week.